There are phrases that may seem harmless, but they drastically impact the lives of our children. These are not immediate effects; you may not see them in the short term, but they do affect their future, emotionally, in their relationships, and professionally. All mothers want the same thing: the happiness and health of their children, but health also includes emotions, the mind, and not just physical health, the kind we can touch. To help them in their lives, avoid saying phrases like these to your children:

• Learn from your brother, cousin, friend. This phrase is very common, and you won't deny it; you've heard it at least in your childhood or among acquaintances. Comparing children only leads them to feel jealousy or resentment towards the person they are being compared to. Instead of being a role model, they might feel bitterness towards you and the person you are using as an example. Moreover, it affects their self-esteem, and they may come to feel that you don't love them.
• You are exhausting, fed up, annoying... This is definitely a phrase that directly impacts relationships, making the other person do what is expected of them to avoid upsetting you, but it also causes pain by not feeling loved.
• You are always like this or you always do that. This is a way of labeling our children; “you always throw things,” “you always misbehave” are phrases that invite them to continue doing what could change or could be addressed with a little understanding to find a real solution.
• I don't think you can or what if you don't succeed? For a long time, I have found that this phrase affects terribly; in a mother's words, it can mark a child for life, preventing them from achieving their dreams or goals. Mothers only wish well for our children, and sometimes we worry that they will get hurt, but we must trust in them and their abilities. We should invite them to achieve things instead of inadvertently making them believe they are incapable. They need to know that we trust them and that we believe they will accomplish great things in life.
• Don't cry, you shouldn't worry or get angry. These are phrases we say to comfort or advise with the best intentions. But they often encourage the child to learn to hide their emotions; crying is human, not just for women or children, it is also for men, just like getting angry or worried. We just need to learn to welcome these situations and recognize them to focus on the positive.

Talk to your children; when you are very angry, desperate, or tired, keep silent to avoid hurting them or saying things you might regret later or that unknowingly affect their long-term life. Find a way to calm down for a moment and talk to them; children understand like adults do, we just sometimes need to be more patient and find the right words. Be honest with them, and you will achieve future communication that will help guide them through adolescence. See original article